Marriage Preparation Checklist

A practical checklist covering the conversations worth having before marriage — faith and values, family, finances, lifestyle, future plans, and the legal and logistical steps that are easy to overlook. Free to use, print, or share with anyone preparing for marriage.

Faith and values

• Discussed how you'll each practise your faith day to day
• Talked about how you want to raise children religiously
• Agreed on the role you want family and community to play
• Talked openly about what a good marriage looks like to each of you

Family

• Discussed expectations around family involvement in your day-to-day life
• Talked about any existing family responsibilities, financial or otherwise
• Met, or planned to meet, each other's immediate family
• Agreed roughly how you'll handle disagreement between families

Finances

• Discussed mahr and agreed what it will be
• Talked about who will manage household finances, and how
• Disclosed any existing debts or financial commitments
• Discussed expectations around work after marriage, and after children

Lifestyle

• Decided where you'll live — with family, near family, or independently
• Talked about how you each handle stress and disagreement
• Discussed how your careers will fit around married life
• Talked through what a typical week together might look like

Future plans

• Discussed whether, when, and how many children you'd like
• Talked about parenting approach — discipline, education, involvement
• Discussed whether relocation, for work or family, is something either of you would consider
• Talked about where you each see yourselves in five to ten years

Legal and logistics

• Confirmed whether your nikah venue and officiant are registered to conduct a legally recognised marriage in the UK, or planned a separate civil registration
• Agreed a realistic budget for the wedding events you want to hold
• Discussed which cultural traditions matter to each of you, and which you're happy to simplify
• Talked to both families about logistics and expectations, ahead of time rather than assuming

Frequently asked questions

For the questions behind each of these areas, see questions to ask before marriage, or read our nikah checklist for what's needed for the contract itself.